I had to run to my bank yesterday afternoon, and as I’m standing at the counter, waiting for the teller to process my transaction, I notice something that I hadn’t noticed before.
A small sign with 5 unique little factoids about the teller.
On this visit, my teller was Jeremy, and one of his factoids proudly announced, “I’ve been a groomsman in 24 weddings since the year 2004”.
Needless to say, this caught my attention… big time.
I immediately counted on one hand the number of times that I’d been a groomsman in someone’s wedding.
Twice.
And that’s over the period of my entire life.
Twice in 44 years.
This guy’s been a groomsman 24 times in less than 6 years.
No matter how you look at it, that’s a unique accomplishment, and yes, it compelled me to begin a conversation that never would’ve happened, if I hadn’t read his little factoid sign.
My curiosity was piqued and I had to know more.
How did he accomplish such a feat?
How did he get invited to be in so many weddings?
Is he trying to set some kind of world’s record?
And there’s a HUGE lesson here, when it comes to you, and your business.
See if you can spot it before I reveal it.
Back in 2003, I was down in Tampa visiting my friend Chet.
We were heading from Tampa out to Clearwater Beach to stay at his condo for the weekend.
On the drive out, he asks me, “So Kev, what did you used to do before you owned a cleaning and restoration business”?
‘Oh”, I reply, “I used to be an Alaska Fisherman”.
He then went crazy, asking me all kind of questions about fishing in Alaska -what was it like? – was it dangerous? – how many years did I do it? – weren’t you scared for your life? – did you make big bucks?
We then spent the entire hour long drive talking about what it was like to be an Alaska Fisherman.
When we arrive at his condo, Chet says, “I can’t believe that I’ve known you for several years, and you’ve never told me this before.
You need to start sharing this story with people”.
That’s when I began to learn how powerful our life’s stories REALLY are.
And yes, you too have stories to share.
Stories that will make people curious.
Stories that will let people get to know you.
Stories that will create a bond with people.
And just like the teller at my bank, when people hear your story, they’ll be compelled to get to know you better.
If you browse my blog, you’ll see that I do very little selling in my communication with you.
For the most part, all I do is share stories.
Have you figured out why?
If so, post your answer below.
I’ll be back on Monday with the correct answer.
Dedicated to your success,
Kevin Thompson
“The Automatic Income Coach”
People want to know they are normal, so we have an inate curiousity about other peoples lives.
kevin:
I think the answer has something to do with the listener identifying with the situation, and then transfering actions to solve the difficulty.
Great story Kevin. The trick is to realise that we all have SOMETHING that intrigues others and sets us apart but sometimes we just can’t see it ourselves until someone else points it out. Love Emma x
Kevin, the reason you tell stories is to get people to like, trust, and believe in you. All you have to do is mention a new product and people will buy, because they know you from what you have shared with them. It’s nicer to buy from someone you know, because they care for you, then some stranger, who doesn’t care.
Real life stories pushes the level of our adrenalin especially if the story is a successful one and it relates to circumstances that draws the reader`s attention through the steps and methods that made the success.All of us want to be successful and have tried various methods in life. Why do motivational speakers have bussiness? this is because of their ~Do-it-this-way systems they profess.
Your friend Chet,became interested just because of your success, he intoregated you just to see the link to your present life and to find out if he could learn fresh ideas. A smart guy
When a person shares things about their life with you, it builds a certain level of trust. You are no longer dealing with a stranger. Tell me, though, when your life reads more likr Ripjey’s Believe It or Not, how much should you share?
When a person shares things about their life with you, it builds a certain level of trust. You are no longer dealing with a stranger. Tell me, though, when your life reads more like Ripjey’s Believe It or Not, how much should you share?
Emma is right. We are bored with our own lives because we live them daily. To us they are nothing special, so very few people are naturally compelled to share their lives without being asked, and rarely are we ever asked. (You would never have asked that teller how many weddings he had been in if not for that sign!)
Why I think you tell stories: You understand that your relationship with us is more powerful than the most highly-tuned ability to sell. You got over the idea that no one is interested. You focus on cultivating your relationship, and let your story illustrate for us what might be possible–how an Alaska Fisherman became an Internet Marketing Success Coach–and the buying can then take care of itself. (I am NOT saying you “pretend” to be interested in your subscribers as a sales strategy, it’s clear you really do like us!)
When you tell stories, people are able to relate to you better and are more interested in what you have to say. It is kind of like that old sales expression, “If they know how you care, they will care how much you know.”
You share stories about yourself with other people in order to build their trust in you, thus establishing a closer relationship with them. This trust allows you to “sell” your product without “pitching” the sale.
Basically story telling is a way of getting trust and or a more personal intimacy.
Dale Carnagie stated that showing interest in other builds trust and emotional safe feeling…..am I close?
The answer to your question is very simple Kevin. If you tell stories, in particular stories where you clearly demonstrate that you make a difference in another person’s life, then you become automatically a likable character, and people are in general attracted to other likable individuals. Telling stories is simply a particular way of using the law of attraction to one’s advantage.
People trust those who they can identify with, feel vulnerable with or can live their lives vicariously through them.
People love stories about other people, mainly because they want to be inspired. I was a public speaker for 6 1/2 years in the early to mid 90s, doing demonstrations along with my service dog. When O’Dell died, the calls stopped coming for me to speak. I was too depressed to care. But over the years I learned a lot about why they called and why they stopped. People look for hope and inspiration and don’t want to be in the “misery loves company” they get from family and friends. When they feel inspired, that leads to feeling a sense of trust that there’s someone they can count on that will show them the way to a better way of life:)
I believe the reason you tell stories is that in the process you create relationships
and in many cases long term and, as a result people believe in you and some will become your subscribers then your business will grow automatically.
Sharing a story about yourself is like providing a window for others from which to gaze into a portion of your life where a fair amount of detail is included. It is compelling to feel like you are walking at someone’s side while they share this “moment in time” with you. If we have a similar experience it creates interest and a bond. But actually, all our experiences are linked because we all are children of God who are learning the same life lessons, just in unique ways.
All above answers are good. We like to be around people who will “open up” and be vulnerable. To a degree, it makes them like us. The stories accomplish this and “breaks the ice”, which makes the next step of doing business, more likely.
When people know more about you, it makes you “real” to them. Once you are viewed as a real person, living an everyday real life like the next guy, and you become more relateable. Once people feel they can relate to you, it makes your success seem attainable.
When you tell stories (true stories) about yourself and your experiences, people see you as a real (truthful) person. They see you as who you really are. No one can do or be everything, so hearing that someone else has done things they have not interests them. And on the flip side, if you have similar experiences, people know where you’re coming from
Everyone likes a good story – people are naturally curious, and then you have an opening for further conversation. But I’m going to ask a similar question to what Marlene was mentioning. What if you’re so out of the box that if you tell stories, all people will think of is ‘Oh my God, I just totally CAN’T relate…’
To have a relationship with all of us. If you have a relationships with us, we will like and trust you. People buy things from someone they like and trust.
I think you tell stories to get people to understand what kind of A person you are so they will feel that they know you A little and keep reading your stories and you slip in A product for sell and then people feel they know and trust you so inturn they by on your recommdation
People like to feel a connection with others, and they want to feel that they are listened to, not just heard. When one shares a story with another person, it can put the person at ease, and often the person hearing the story will feel that they have experienced something similar or would like to know how to do what is being told to them. I think that people truely like to share knowledge, learn from each other and grow from these experiences. Knowledge is powerful, can open new doors and help people see other alternatives prompting them to take action to learn and grow.
I think you tell stories to get people to understand what kind of A person you are so they will feel that they know you A little and keep reading your stories and you slip in A product for sell and then people feel they know and trust you so inturn they by on your recomendation
I am just an ordinary person, but I have had some amazing things happen in my life! I just never thought that anyone would want to hear about it. Nothing as exciting as Alaskan fishing, ( no offense intended Kevin). I’m just plain. However, when I think of all the things I could do after I get my automatic income business up and running… I’m sure I will have more stories to tell. Just imagine…
It makes people trust you more. That is because they can see that you are human just like they are and not some miniature god because you make lots of money.
Life is all about nuturing relationships and creating memories. People like people that they trust.
With so much fraudulent activity out there, people want to find someone they can trust, and believe. Sharing stories makes you ‘real’. If you have a passion for something it comes through in your stories. Your listener can relate better. You have credibility because you have the proven experience.
Builds trust, commonality, and a sense that they “know” you. Then doing business is not doing business with strangers (salespeople), rather it’s doing business with friends.
Wow, talk about some incredible insight. It just goes to show that we’ve got some incredibly smart and intuitive people following this blog.
Keep the discussion going, and I’ll be back with you on Monday.
This is going to give us some great stuff to talk about, and I look forward to sharing some more of my own “story telling experiences and successes” with you.
CURIOSITY BREEDS INTREST AND A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE ABOUT ANYTHING PEAKS THE CURIOSITY FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THAT OR ANY CLOSELY RELATED SUBJECT-MATTER…
SINCERELY YOURS,
LEON JAMES LAPLACE
all have very good answers. i think there are not one wrong answer here. Everyone loves a story and by earning trust, they want to buy the products because the believe in you.
When someone is curious…they give their attention.
I really believe that people and the relationships we develop are our true assets. The more we cultivate and nurture those relationships the more profitable we will be both personally and financially.
People love to hear stories to be able to compare the life of others with their own life.
Hey Kev,
Ooh, ooh, I know, Iknow.
The idea is to let people get to
know you as a friend, (someone
looking after their best interests)
and mentor (someone been there done
that,to look forward to hear from).
To Our Success,
James L. Hecht
Kevin,
Great post! I love the story. What did the teller say when you asked him?
People can relate to stories. It is so real life. It peaks interest and then after the story is shared it leaves a feeling of knowing that person better.
Stories rock!
Thanks for sharing,
Mary Thayer
Stories help people know you quickly. Your essence of being shines through when you tell a story. Also, stories are “sticky” to quote the Heath brothers. People remember them.
Because sharing stories makes you feel like your friends, and we are comfortable around and trust our friends. people dont want to feel like they’re being hasseled by a salesman.
You tell your stories to build the relationship and establish trust. People relate to you much better when there is a level of trust. This way you can sell yourself without having to pitch a product.
People will find an aspect of your story that they connect with because they’ve felt or have always wanted to feel the same way. They find themselves somewhere in your story and that’s comforting.
Great story! I have seen and done so many things in my life, that I love that story! I worked at a German Import dealership as a technician for 3.5 years. In that time, between Roadside assistance calls, and working in the shop, if I worked on a minimum of 10 cars a week, that multiplies out to have driven at least 1500 different High End German Autos over my 3.5 year career…
I love to hear people’s stories, and learn, heck as a single guy, I ask people who are single again, and they tell me, “How they got there, again”.
I love stories people have, because it is a window into their world, and I like to listen…
Most people are curious by nature. If you wisely and timely open the door for them they will try to peek inside even though they do not have any desire to go in. The rest is up to you. When I showed the former words to my daughter she said I was describing women!
Telling stories opens up the lines of communication to create a relationship with others. People can relate to stories more easily than facts and stories help build trust with others. The person telling the story is showing “vulnerability” when he/she shares this part of their lives.
People want to do business with those they know and trust and telling stories builds the relationship with others.
People like to identify with other peoples’ lives just to see where they stand on the human scale. Good, bad, happy or sad doesn’t matter…its the idenity of it all.
Kevin, you tell stories so people can get to know you and identify with you as a regular mortal, just like they are. If the stories you tell cause a rapport to develop with someone, that person will come to trust you and will buy things that you are promoting, because they feel that they won’t be ripped off. Also, because they like you, they will be more likely to be happy with their purchase (even if they actually never use it, or it doesn’t really suit them, or it doesn’t quite do what they had thought it would – that’s okay because that can just as easily happen if we walk into a shop and buy something; if you had a positive experience with the salesperson, you are less likely to return the goods, and even if you do, you don’t hold it against the salesperson). I am inclined to agree with the person who said that people don’t want to hear bad news, though, unless you show how you overcame that bad situation. People like to be involved with things that are just a little bit better, more interesting, or classier than their own situation. Not too much so, however, or they will feel that they can’t attain it themselves. (Sorry about that – this comment is a post in itself!)
STORIES ARE PEOPLE’S PERSONAL PARABLES
Like shells upon a seashore – we are privy to a glimpse of the soul of another – which confirms that we are all playing our part in the bigger story
Kevin, You tell your story so that you can get people’s attention. When they read your story they will be able to relate with you and understand you better. The former story can be a prelude to your most successful one.
When you pull someone into your story, the two of you share a journey. You begin as strangers, but you part as friends.
Your stories pull a person in…like fishing with a net.
Women especially love stories.
Like the story of the beautiful maiden I met at a bar across the street from the rundown horse track. Actually I didn’t meet her IN the bar, but behind it next to the dumpster.
There she was, helping hold another woman’s hair back as she “got rid of” some bad sushi and malt beverage. In that moment I knew a woman so helpful and kind would be my third wife.
However, such a romance couldn’t last. We divorced just three weeks after she got her green card. It was for the best…the way she would nag in that crazy Eastern European voodoo language…it was like some demon yelling at me!
Anyway, I always pull that story out on a first date – get’s ‘em every time.
-Handsome
A story creates a picture in our minds and that has a longer lasting impression than words spoken unrelated to a story. Furthermore, when the story characters’ hopes, dreams and fears are revealed, that’s something all of us can relate to.
We are all individuals but in our souls we are all connected. We are all part of something larger, like a life force. By telling someone your experiences you are connecting on a personal level and with first hand experience and knowledge you can be trusted as ‘just a regular human being’. Therefore, now connected.
Hi Kevin,
I think the storytelling helps with building a relationship with people…that way you will draw them in and they will trust you more.
Nancy T.
Telling stories gives the listener FREEDOM (permission) to imaging, to dream, to escape mentally, to break down the way walls and join in. The joining in could be to replicate in sharing your own stories, instropectly think of your own or imaged story. Story telling sparks (ignites) the thinking process and breaks down walls.
Hi Kevin,
To hear a person’s story helps the listener become connected with that person. The listener realizes how real the story teller is or not. With sharing experiences with each other, you can develop the worth and character of a person.
Relationships, assimilation, empathy, and sometimes “wow” factor. Personal story has no substitute when it comes to the overall picture on how you conduct business and earn an income. I would also like to add…the curiosity factor. People are curious to know more about those that they are engaged in business with. It has helped in my lifetime of earning my income.
Kevin,
I was a merchant mariner for a short time as well. My wife and I have watched Deadliest Catch – so she knows a tiny bit more about what life at sea was like. You revealing that about you made you more real and relatable. I believe that is the reason you tell your stories, because they prove that you are a real person.
Thank you!
People want to know that there’s an actually person on the other end. We are such a curious society that stories just pull the public in to know more about you.
Dear Kevin,
I am so sorry if this is my second one , or a really late reply.
I thought that a dear neighbor’s son had finally resolved my router/ modem problems,l but maybe not, becase, I just got a notice, my mail had not
been sent, so here goes again, I hope I can remember what I wrote the first time, it was real good, tee hee!!
Alright then, at first, I thought I asked you to tell me more about you and Lisa and then more of your family because I had started to grow fond of
your lovely family, especially that Brock, that had me almost comming over to your house to give him a major mack attack ( kiss attack ) and just
one or two bites on his belly or fingers? Ok Mom Lisa, I won’t bite. And then as I got into deeper thinking I realized what you were really asking and here goes.
Every time you tell one of your stories you are allowing us another glimpse of who you are and giving us a foundation to build our feelings for you
on. My experiance went from interest to sentimental to admiration to child kidnapping..KIDDING– to admiraration to respect to kindred spirit to
you are more of a teacher/ hopeful Boss, but a friend & family.
You are what I call a gifted speaker because to generate those kinds of feelings out of people, you cannot fake! Oh maybe for a little while but eventually people see you for what you are. The same with a salesman, his stories just won’t have the same heart, or give you the same comfort
level as someone like you who is comminf from a place of carring and having an agenda of sharring. Oh granted there will always be some that don’t get it just like there will always be some you can’t save or help, there was only one man that could ever save everyone and wanted to save
everyone, in fact died for it and His name is Jesus.
If I were to guess I would imagine that Jesus smiles at each time you tell a story, and a heart is captured because He knows thar person will go
away gaining something, whether it be knowledge friendship more money to get out of troubles or all the above, He knows you are one of His servants, after all didn’t Jesus say we are to be as little children, and
don’t little children love to be told stories? …. But only GOOD stories, and Kevin, you tell good stories
Thank you so much for sharing your great stories with me.
Love in Christ, Kim Milbrandt
Business is all about relationships. Can’t have a relationship with you until I know who you are, what your like, and that I can trust you.
Mona says:
A story creates curiosity sure but I think that it also triggers security, pleasure or any other feelings. We can relate to childhood memories where we were told stories and wanted more. We can create images about that person experiences and react to it as something familiar, unfamiliar, desire, pleasant, scary….. We engage our emotions through the process and see a person instead of an object at our service.